It’s time for a Comparison Cleanse
Enough Mode.
Hi, my friend,
I don’t know what it is, but there is something about Q4 that seems to bring up the “comparison spiral” for a lot of my clients. In fact, as I wrap up book events for the year, this question of “the competition” has been coming up over and over again.
And, as an ambitious person myself, I get it.
We all have the same 525,600 minutes in a year (cue the theme song from Rent).
And sometimes we’ll look at the shiny version of others’ lives and feel like we didn’t nearly utilize ours as well.
First off, I have to tell you, comparison is completely typical. According to social comparison theory, it’s also how we as humans determine our personal and social value. But it’s when we reside too long in that place of comparison that it causes us harm, because comparison skews our perception of ourselves. And social media amplifies this more than almost anything else. In fact, research shows that using multiple social platforms is linked to higher rates of anxiety and depression because we’re constantly measuring ourselves against people’s highlight reels.[i]
So if you’ve found yourself hurtling towards the end of the year and can’t drown out the voices perpetually shouting “what am I doing with my life,” “I’m so behind,” or my personal fave “I’m wasting my potential,” I have a little practice for you.
Tool: The Comparison Cleanse
I always say to my clients, we cannot be caught up in competition if we are captivated by our purpose. Take out your pen and paper and jot down your responses to these questions:
Where and how am I comparing myself to others? What feelings is this bringing up in me?
Can I use these feelings to refine how I’m showing up in my own life? What can I learn from these feelings?
Is there something unexpressed in me that wishes to come through? Where am I not being fully myself?
How do I need to change my relationship to social media (or other media) to reduce my unhelpful comparison?
Own your greatness by making a list of five things that make you special and unique. Spend a few minutes each day celebrating these gifts.
Make a list of the ways you can go deeper with your gifts versus focusing on others.
May this practice have you less concerned with others and more connected to YOUR contribution.
And if you need a little help getting clear on your purpose, meet me in a consultation.
Stop-Scrolling, Start-Soaring,
Amina
And PS: If you want to go deeper around the idea of Un-competing check out my brilliant friend, Ruchika’s new bestselling book, Uncompete: Rejecting Competition to Unlock Success.
[i] Brian A. Primack et. al., “Use of Multiple Social Media Platforms and Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety: A Nationally-Representative Study among U.S. Young Adults,” Computers in Human Behavior 69 (April 2017): 1–9, doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2016.11.013.
Book me to speak: If you are interested in bringing the conversation around purposeful ambition to your organization, conference, or ERG, hit reply to this email and let’s schedule a time to talk.
Work with me 1:1: If you’re interested in building a more purposeful and profitable career, the joyful way, book a consult right here.
